THE SOFT SPOT

When I was a kid there was a special patch of grass in our yard that didn't match the type or texture of the rest of the yard.  Since it was an old farmhouse that had been in the family for years and years and years, grass had probably been re-seeded there after something had been removed - a tree or bush.  It couldn't have been any bigger in size than maybe four by five feet and lay directly underneath the scraggly pine tree in the front yard.  Visibly you could see a color difference much like when you stand on a beach and see rich color variations as the waters change depths.  This grass was a green so deep and vibrant that it hinged on blue.  It was baby fine but thick and unearthly soft for grass.  There was nothing better than on a hot summer day to stretch out on that piece of blue-green grass, pretend you were on a island and let the soft velvety grass lay against your skin.  The combination of shade, grass, a breeze and the uniqueness of this tropical island patch of grass was restive - a place to just be.  I still have several "soft spots" in my life that I go to - that magical piece of grass so to speak.  Yesterday was a beautiful spring, sunny, blue-skied day.  I found myself constantly looking outside, wanting to be a part of it.  The outdoors is a soft spot for me.  As I walked some miles with my husband, we talked about how the outdoors is magical for both of us.  It's my restive place to find my center and I run to it to be refreshed and renewed, and at other times in my life, healed in my spirit.  Standing in church and hearing music that reminds me of all I am compared to the greatness, love and grace of God, I fall on my back in that patch of blue-green grass to just be in the presence of God right then.   Nothing else matters at that moment and all that was not right before is now right - in the soft spot of God.  I too am blessed to have been given the gift of deep love after a lifetime of want for it.  My husband's smile of contentment flows through his eyes as I describe to him all that I see when I look intently at him. When I gently touch the life lines that are brushed into his skin at the corners of his steely blue eyes, I feel myself on that small patch of blue-green grass as a kid, laid out on my back without a care in the world - that all is right in the universe.  It's in those places and moments that I wish to stay, feeling connected-loved-safe.... just being.