A VICE GRIP

I am not a cigarette smoker.  Never really have been.  I was a teenager once and tried a couple, but to be honest, it wasn't my bag!  Inhaling something smokey and hot into my mouth and lungs just didn't keep my attention or create a desire for more.  We are all different though.  We all have some pressure points, something(s) that holds our rapt attention, a particular Achilles.  We all have a vice.  Cigarettes is not mine.  I can walk away from them.  Never pick one up.  Be around people who smoke and I have no desire, no pull for the nicotine.  Mine, is real cream.  Half and half.  I confess it as my indulgence, have to have, won't drink my coffee without it.  My friend Big D laughs at me claiming I am a "cream snob".  I have had to time and time again take her through the course, Cream for Coffee 101.  She does not get it yet!!!  I drink my coffee sugarless.  That doesn't mean I put artificial sweeteners in it (morally and physically opposed to them - see a future blog regarding my real view of that!).  Absolutely no sugar in any way shape or form is part of my cup of coffee.  That being said leads me to artificial, fakie, chemically laced man-made creamers.  Note, I said creamers.  Creamers - powdered or liquid that list mostly ingredients that I cannot pronounce but start the ingredient list with sugar, corn syrup, corn syrup solids, powdered milk, dextrose, polydextrose, maltodextrin or any form of mutated and chemically altered sugar and quasi milk products IS NOT CREAM!  As a cream drinker, non-sugar consuming coffee drinker I get disgusted with artificial creamers.  Big D, THEY ARE NOT REAL CREAM.  THEY ARE NOT HALF AND HALF.  I have tried to reduce the amount of real half and half I put in my coffee mainly because milk products and I don't really totally get along, and with age I really need to fight my slowing metabolism by consuming less fat!  I like my coffee light tan, the color of an Asian person's skin:)  That poses a problem - the ingestion of too much cream.  Through the years I have tried to wean myself off cream in my coffee.  My attempts have always been highly unsuccessful.  Short of an intervention (might have to try that!), I can't seem to give it up.  I have tried some creative methods to wean myself off cream; 1) not buying half and half but whole milk, 2) limiting myself to only one cup per day, 3) using vanilla flavored soy milk, 4) infusing coconut milk 2:1 ratio to cream, 5) carefully measuring the cream to only 2 cereal teaspoons for each cup, 6) using goat's milk and, 7) self talk.  The results of those attempts went something like this; 1) whole milk is just not as thick and creamy as half and half, 2) one cup is not quite enough, 3) soy is crap and has a hint of sugar in it, 4) coconut milk is watery, 5) carefully is really a very subjective word and life makes you hurry sometimes, 6) goat's milk is much easier on my stomach, but leaves a strange taste in the coffee-GOAT and,  7) reason never trumps desire for very long.  I went so far to take my container of half and half to my sister's house this week leaving it there when I left for my brother-in-law (He loves cream too!).  Hoping, without it in the house, I could again wean myself off it.  That worked for 2 days till I went to the store to pick up a couple of items I needed.  While there I realized I needed some half and half too.  I don't need butter on my toast.  Can eat a turkey sandwich with no mayo.  Without feeling cheated, I can leave the cheese off most anything.  But, I can't seem to get the monkey off my back - CREAM!