THE EVE OF ALL THINGS

It was a very odd day today - Christmas Eve.  I procrastinated my Christmas shopping till this morning, and then in an hour and half completed all I needed.  I went through the day disconnected for some reason.  I willed myself to get out of the way of what this time of year is focused on - not the birth of Lynn:)  I looked around the store and wondered if anyone else had some of the same thoughts I did.  Had their life changed radically this year?  Were they trying to move on but life seemed in slow gear?  I felt not totally at ease in gliding through Christmas this year.  My ex husband has a girlfriend it seems.  Really I am glad for him.  I want him to have love and fulfillment.  Yet, I struggle with it because he seemingly is experiencing love at some level and I seem to be unable to during this season of my life.  My frustration mounted as the day wore on.  This is a day to be shared not only with kids, extended family, friends, but someone special you love.  I thought about Jesus while I was sitting in the 10 p.m. Christmas Eve service (as well I should be thinking of Him!).  I wondered what it was like to be the Son of God and be born less than what you are.  To know that He was taking the slow route so that He could connect to mankind, to heal our hearts, to make us whole.  Jesus, the Son of God, probably was not thrilled over the mechanism that brought Himself to man, but was willing to because of this great big God love He has for us.  I wanted my life to move faster but God saw fit to have it be in slow gear.  Sometimes we look at salvation as a one time event, and it is - sort of.  But salvation also involves making us whole, healing our hearts.  Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve are the only two days of the year where the day before the day we say eve.  Jesus is all about eves because He is always working His healing, His touch to make me whole and will show up tomorrow and continue His love relationship with me designed to make me whole.  Everyday is the eve of something for God.  Everyday is.  When God is set against the backdrop of my humanity He is magnificently showcased.  The contradiction of who I am and who He is shows clearly and powerfully all He is.  He really is the Eve of all things - always working, always present into the next day where He once again showcases Himself against my humanity.  Christmas is all about God becoming less so He could make us whole - giving us a piece of Himself.  Powerful.